Inspector Morse: English Pub Fare 🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁

Year Released; 19887-2000
Starring: John Thaw, Kevin Whately, James Grout
(33 episodes, approx. 100 min. each)
Genre: Mystery and Suspense

“There’s always time for one more pint.”  –Inspector Morse

Wine, women, and song, though not necessarily in that order.

And let’s change out the wine for some good scotch, at least three fingers full for Chief Inspector Morse.   Or maybe some nice frothy brew.  Remember, it always tastes better when poor Sergeant Lewis pays the bill.

As for the women – yes, he does have an eye for the ladies.  And sometimes, only sometimes, a success.  How unfortunate if he falls for the chief suspect and his last glance of her is when she is carted off by the authorities. But who knows.  “Potential murderess” might even be a turn on.   God help him, though, if her spelling is bad.  We all have our hang-ups. By nature, though, Colin Dexter’s misanthropic detective is a self-described loner.  He’s just slightly more miserable than usual when surrounded by people.

As for song – fleeting moments of contentment ride the waves of Wagner’s Die Walkure blasting at full volume in his bachelor pad.  Who needs companionship with a first edition of A Shropshire Lad  (1896) tucked away securely on the shelves? Add a generous glass of scotch and life doesn’t get any better.

Maybe that is one reason that Radio Times rated the series the Greatest British Crime Drama of All Time in 2018.

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Here are a few esoteric details Morse lovers might enjoy. This XYL ((wife) of a lifelong HAM radio operator certainly does: 

The theme and incidental music for the series were written by Barrington Pheloung and used a motif based on the Morse code for "M.O.R.S.E.": (--/---/.-./.../.). The composer works the five letters into four 3-beat bars.

The motif is played solo at the beginning and recurs all the way through. Pheloung states that he occasionally spelled out the name of the killer in Morse code in the music, or alternatively spelled out the name of another character as a red herring. –Kim Smith

One thing that sets Morse apart from other classic fictional detectives such as Hercule Poirot and Sherlock Holmes is that although he is brilliant, Morse is often wrong, at least in his initial deductions.

In the very first episode, “The Dead of Jericho,”  for example, Morse tells Detective Sergeant Lewis, a very young Kevin Whately, that the murderer is Sophocles, inferring that from the copy of Oedipus Rex on the bed table of the deceased. Morse then wrongly concludes that the suicide victim had been impregnated by the son she had given up for adoption, unbeknownst to her until the day of her death.  Of course, the young Lewis, not party to the esoteric world of Greek tragedies, wants Sophocles’ address to get an arrest warrant.

Our first episode also sets the tone for poor Morse’s tragic love life.  He walks a fellow choir member home from rehearsal and intends to pick her up on concert day, but she is nowhere to be found. Her tragic death is hidden behind a closed door the polite Morse does not venture to open. His would-be love interest is dead in the first 20 minutes of the first episode!

As to being brilliant, even Superintendent Strange ( James Grout) – Morse ultimately finding himself subordinate to that lowly and not particularly bright colleague introduced in Endeavour – reluctantly admits Morse’s skills, having to explain why he has not been promoted.

“You are a poor policemen, but a very good detective,” he concedes. 

Several other episodes ignite memories of this fine Masterpiece Mystery (1987-2000).

One favorite is “Masonic Mysteries” (Season 4, episode 4), where Morse meets his match.  He is expertly framed for the murder of his recent lady friend (yes, he loses her again) at the dress rehearsal for one of his most-loved operas, Mozart’s The Magic Flute. And a phenomenally poor recording of said opera is actually what rigs a fire in Morse’s home where he is almost burned alive.  Morse’s Nemesis here is indeed every bit as potentially lethal as Holmes’ Moriarty. Another surprise here is how Lewis shows a skill that ultimately unmasks the killer, as we see him proving himself the perfect complement for his sometimes too-clever-for-his-own-good superior.

“The Way Through the Woods” (Season 8, episode 1) introduces a new pathologist, a fresh faced yet very independent minded female.

Little did Clare Holman think, we wonder, that her role in this 1995 presentation would be reprised in the Inspector Lewis season some 11 years later.

Dr. Hobson’s first words to Morse reflect her no nonsense nature and a comic variation on his name due to some bad handwriting.

“Do you know where I might find a Detective Chief Inspector…looks like ‘Mouse’?”

A final memory is from “The Wench is Dead,” aired in 1999. The details, however, are from Morse’s 1989 novel rather than the television episode, as detailed in Different Drummer’s own Appetite for Murder: A Mystery Lover’s Cookbook.

Morse’s comfortable routine is interrupted one Saturday morning when he is rushed to the hospital with a bleeding ulcer.

 A young doctor interviews him in the Emergency Department of the John Radcliffe Hospital complex. What about his drinking habits?

Morse is not quite candid, but who does tell these young interns God’s truth, I ask you. “Two or three pints a day,” and  “scotch – sometimes I treat myself to a drop of Scotch.” Further cross examination reveals that the bottled “drop of Scotch” lasts only a week to ten days, and is accompanied by a daily eight to ten cigarettes.

Wine, women, and song are about to be put on hold. 

For his own good Morse is confined to a hospital bed above which is hung “a rectangular plaque bearing the sad little legend NIL BY MOUTH.” Festivities are few and far between.  He is cared for by a tight-lipped and sour-faced nurse:

What’s her name?
They call her “Nessie.”
Was she born near the Loch?
In it, Lewis.

Nessie is, indeed, a kind of reverse Cerberus who screens the offerings his visitors bring him for any contraband food or drink.  There are a few moments, however, with more compassionate hospital personnel, such as the “Fair Fiona.”  One particularly fine experience ends badly, however.  Fiona comes to Morse’s bedside and asks him to “unfasten his pajama bottoms, to turn over on his left side, and to expose his right buttock.”  Alas, all this is but a prelude to the intrusion of the terrible Nessie, who inserts a colorless liquid into his flank.

Then there is the “Ethereal Eileen” as Morse calls her.  She looks “so good, so wholesome, in her white uniform with its dark-blue trimmings.”  And she handles his first encounter with a bedpan with such finesse.  Such are the rather restricted romantic trysts of the invalid.

Lewis tries to liven up his day by smuggling in The Blue Ticket, a pornographic paperback that promises “Scorching Lust and Primitive Sensuality.” But the misspellings somehow dampen his ardor.  Instead Morse turns to some different reading material, Murder on the Oxford Canal, a case from 1859 involving the brutal murder and gang rape of one Joanna Franks.

Slowly he becomes obsessed with this long forgotten crime.  From his bed Morse must prove that the two men hanged for the canal murder were innocent, exercising only, as Poirot called them, “the little grey cells.”

The hospital fare, once he is able to eat again, consists of “one half-bowl of oxtail soup and a portion of vanilla ice-cream.”   Only in his clouded memory is Morse able to enjoy his beloved pub fare, such as that decadent fried English classic, Fish and Chips, served up with plenty of grease and washed down with as many pints of ale as necessary.  For our featured recipes, however, we will choose from a few other pub delicacies with those strange names, like Toad in the Hole, Bubble and Squeak, and Bangers and Mash. Eat up and enjoy. And don’t forget to have Lewis pick up your tab.

–Kathy Borich
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Trailer

Film-Loving Foodie

Most of Morse’s best thinking occurs over several pints of ale at one of many wonderfully atmospheric English pubs. The low rafters, the warming fires, and the darkly lit interiors highlight the colorful ale cask handpumps, drawing us in with him.

Not to mention one of Morse’s favorites, The Trout Inn along the river. 

And if that is not enough, there are the colorful names on the plaques hanging outside each one, such as The Horse and Trumpet, The Eagle and Child, The Bear, The White Horse, and The King’s Arms.

Our featured recipes are two English pub favorites.

Bubble and Squeak

(A pub owner’s explanation for the dish’s name lies in its effect on the digestive tract)

4 cups well-drained, cooked, chopped cabbage

1/3 cup butter

1 small onion, minced

2 cps diced boiled potatoes

Salt and freshly ground pepper

Put the cabbage in a colander and press out as much water as possible.  Melt butter in a 10-inch skillet and brown onion.  Add the cabbage and potatoes and toss until they start browning; season with salt and freshly ground pepper.  Smooth mixture and cook until crusty and brown on the bottom.  Invert on a heated platter and cut like a pie.  Leftover diced or ground meat may be browned along with cabbage and potatoes.

Bangers and Mash

1 tablespoon oil

8 thick sausages

2 medium onions, sliced

2 tablespoons gravy powder

1 1/2 cups water

4 medium potatoes

2 tablespoons milk

1 ounce butter

Salt and pepper

Finely chopped parsley, for garnish

Prick the sausages with a fork.  Heat oil in a large heavy-based frying pan; add sausages.  Cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, until they are brown and cooked through.  Transfer sausages to a plate covered with a paper towel.

Pour off most of the fat from pan, leaving about a tablespoon.  Add onions and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes until soft and golden.  Combine gravy powder with water in a jug; stir until smooth.  Add to pan; stir to combine with onions.  Stir gravy constantly over a medium low heat for 2 minutes or until mixture boils and thickens.  Return sausages to pan.  Combine with gravy and serve immediately with mash. 

To make mash, cook potatoes in a large pan on boiling water until tender; drain well.  Mash with a potato masher until free from lumps.  Add milk and butter; blend with a fork until smooth and creamy.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Sprinkle chopped parsley over potatoes to serve

Appetite for Murder: A Mystery Lover’s Cookbook