The Last Bus: Ukrainian Pierogi Recipe 🥁🥁🥁🥁

Year Released: 2021
Directed by: Gillies Mackinnon
Starring: Timothy Spall, Phyllis Logan, Ben Ewing, Natalie Mitson
(Not Rated, 146 min.)
Genre: Drama

‘I’ll get us there. I promise.” Tom Harber

This is a road trip, but don’t expect Easy Rider, Smokey and the Bandit, The Blues Brothers, Little Miss Sunshine, or Thelma and Louise. 

It’s more like Clint Eastwood’s Cry Macho.

Except that our crusty curmudgeon, The Last Bus lead Timothy Spall was heavily made up to look 90 (being a 62-year-old spring chicken during filming) while Eastwood at 91 needed no such enhancements.

Both of them have some soft spots for children, though it takes Eastwood a little while to thaw. 

In The Last Bus, Tom’s face is uniformly rigid except when he spies children. His hands are rough and stiff, but he makes an intricate origami frog for a little girl and even shows her how to make it leap, too.

Unfortunately, almost every act of kindness ushers in an opposite in its wake, but he takes the chaff with the wheat.

What we see most is a grim determination that once defined so many of us. We were made of harder stuff back then, it seems, and Tom Harber is a role model for a generation that seems to have lost its way.

While many gush about the “poignant “ scene where Tom defends a Muslim woman in a full burka against a “racist” fellow passenger – a scene that to me seems artificial right down to the perfectly made up eyes of the woman and the “textbook” bigotry of the harasser – the best scene shows Tom and two sets of drunken youths. The girls are on their way to a bachelorette party and the group of guys opposite them, equally soused, is taunting their general sleaziness.  An older gent, also “in his cups” objects to their noisy banter, mainly because it has disturbed his liquor fueled slumber. 

As the two groups argue over which pop song is better, several taking stabs at singing their own, the semi drunk bagman begins his own recital. Surprisingly it is “Amazing Grace,” and Tom, almost compelled against his will, joins in. 

His voice is clear and strong, and he knows every word of the multiple verses.

Suddenly there is a hush among the youths, and that respectful silence is as moving as Tom’s rendition.

The bus ride is long and difficult, shrouded in a mystery that we only think we understand.  Flashbacks along the way interrupt Tom’s fitful sleep to fill us in as the audience members become Tom’s companions on this long trek.

We the viewers must share Tom’s patience, but not all seem willing, at least not the usual suspects, bombastic film critics.

***

The Last Bus is the disparaged gem of sleeper for which Different Drummer created her website on 2005.  Ignore the insipid elites at Rotten Tomatoes who long for big action or Pixar effects, and instead relish this eccentric miracle.

I guess these current critics didn’t get their latest computer generated image (CGI) fix or that Pixar dazzle, though both technologies and franchises have long passed their zeniths.  Could it be that these critics are also past their sell date?

So lost are they in their pathetic narcissism, that even after giving away a subtle plot twist in their sneering reviews, they try to inflate their stature by demeaning what they themselves never attempt.

“Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.” –Brendan Behan

A few examples here:

“The Last Bus” crawls when it needs to be speeding, making you wish for a little bit of a climb in its visceral landscape. But it all feels like a flat road of sentimental boredom, observed through drab, one-note cinematography. 

Gillies Mackinno’s dull travelogue is curiously narrow in its dramatic scope.

“The Last Bus” feels awfully close to a live-action “Up,” but without the Pixar animated feature’s grand romanticism that tugs at one’s heartstrings.  (both quotes by Tomris Laffly, fortyish free lance film critic)

In this plodding road-trip movie, ailing pensioner Tom Harper (Timothy Spall, all slurred speech and shuffling gait) makes the most of his freedom pass and travels, by bus, from his home in John O’Groats to Land’s End. –Simran Hans, epitomizing those punk movie reviewers Different Drummer talks about.

Here is what we said way back in 2005 when we started Different Drummer:

Often been surprised by a movie after what a film critic said about it? Ever felt cheated out of big bucks on the recommendations of a punk 24-year-old? Or really loved the ones they panned? Some of the films they disdain you enjoy with guilty pleasure, and though you’d never admit it to your intellectual friends, the ones they rave about often leave you either cold, disgusted or both.

*** 

But enough of my rant, though it has been lots of fun, and to be fair, the ratings on Amazon and other streaming options are much more positive.  Maybe that’s because they come from real people and not professionals.

Listen to the real people, Different Drummer counting herself among them, and rush to stream this film, even if its pace is leisurely and measured. 

Not to miss for anyone with taste and a smidgeon of maturity.

–Kathy Borich
🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁

Trailer

Film-Loving Foodie

One of Tom’s happiest interludes is the party he is invited to by a group of Ukrainian refugees.  They couldn’t be kinder to him, even if he is a little lost among all their spirited songs and dress.  He is on a mission and even forgoes their delicious banquet, although he is tempted by the pierogi, filled dumplings made by wrapping unleavened dough around a savory or sweet filling and cooking them in boiling water. 

He reaches out, but then puts it back, maybe fearing its delicious nature might tempt him to stay and lapse in his mission.

But we aren’t going anywhere pressing right now, are we?  So let’s enjoy what Tom missed.  In fact, it is our duty to enjoy it for him.

Before we get to today’s Ukrainian Pierogi recipe, however, you might want to read about or even create some other close cousins.

Pierogi, pirog, pirozhki all get their name from the Russian root word "pir" which means feast. They may be made with a yeast dough, a shortcrust pastry, or this wonderful sour cream pastry. The sour cream keeps the dough moist so it does not dry when you sauté it. The recipe described here is the Russian version and is from that great train film Transsiberian.

You might even want to turn your hand to this Polish Pierogi Casserole from that dangerous Siberian escape film The Way Back.

In fact, who can turn a nose up at any of these wonderful creations, kind of second cousins to pierogi. 

We have an Asian and a German version, too, such as the potstickers featured in the delightful martial arts romp Kung Fu Hustle. 

Finally, one of our wonderful Weimaraners was named after my husband’s favorite German noodle dumplings called Spaetzle.  Utterly delicious.

Ukrainian Pierogi

Ingredients

Original recipe yields 10 servings

DOUGH:

·        5 cups all-purpose flour 

·        1 teaspoon salt 

·        2 tablespoons butter, softened 

·        1 cup evaporated milk 

·        ½ cup water 

FILLING:

·        6 medium potatoes, cut into small cubes 

·        2 large onions, finely chopped 

·        ½ cup butter 

·        1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 

·        salt and pepper to taste 

ALTERNATE FILLING:

·        1 pound sauerkraut 

·        2 large onions, finely chopped 

·        ½ cup butter 

·        3 cups finely shredded green cabbage 

·        1 cube chicken bouillon 

·        2 teaspoons pepper 

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Directions

Instructions Checklist

• Step 1

To make the dough, combine the flour and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center and add the soft butter and evaporated milk; stir gently until all the liquid is absorbed. Add water only as needed, kneading continuously until dough sticks together. Place dough into a greased bowl, turn to coat, and let rest for 30 minutes.

• Step 2

To make the potato filling, place potatoes into a saucepan with water to cover. Bring to a boil and cook until tender, about 10 minutes. Drain and set aside. Melt 1/2 cup butter in a medium skillet, over medium heat. Saute onions in butter until tender. Mix the onions into the potatoes along with the cheese and season with salt and pepper to taste.

• Step 3

To make the sauerkraut and cabbage filling, pour the drained sauerkraut into a large saucepan. In a medium skillet, saute 2 onions in 1/2 cup butter until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir the onions into the sauerkraut along with the cabbage and chicken bouillon cube. Cook over low heat until liquid evaporates. Season with pepper and remove from heat. Allow the mixture to cool, then run through a grinder or food processor.

• Step 4

Remove the dough from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Roll out to 1/8 inch in thickness. Cut into 3 inch circles. Place one tablespoon of filling onto one side of the circle. Fold the other half over and press the edges to seal. Place finished dumplings onto a floured tray and keep covered.

• Step 5

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Drop 10 or so dumplings into the water at a time. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes, then remove to a colander to drain. Place finished dumplings onto a lightly oiled dish and turn them to coat with a thin layer. This will keep them from sticking together. Serve dumplings with fried onions and sour cream. Cooled dumplings also can be fried in oil and butter for a nice crispy surface. 

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